A Special Birthday Card

Megan's birthday is in December, and I have sent her birthday cards in the past. This year was special. This year for the very first time I went shopping for a birthday card for my "daughter-in-law". It was another one of those moments when the reality that your son is married hits home. It was fun looking through the cards for the one that expressed the right sentiment. Some of the cards were way too mushy, some were too blaise. I finally found one that sounded more like I had written it myself, telling her how important she has become in our lives. Since I was on a roll, I decided to find a Christmas one for my "son and daughter-in-law". Since it is their first Christmas as husband and wife, I wanted to send them a card that wasn't so generic. Finding this card was not as easy. The stores seemed to only carry one or two choices in this particular category. But I finally found one that worked for me and sent it off to them last week. They get here today from Indiana, so we will have a few days with them to celebrate Christmas before they head back on their long journey home to Maryland. I can't wait to see them!

The Christmas Stocking

In thinking about what to write for my monthly writers group, I realized I had a little more to say about Andy and his request to take his Christmas stocking.

The Christmas Stocking

You asked me for your stocking
How was I to know
That such a simple question
Would cause the tears to flow.

For twenty-three years now
It has hung in a certain way
Made for you by me
For your first Christmas Day.

First there were two stockings
And with you came one more
When your sister was born
We hung up the hand made four.

Four brass stocking holders
With stockings waiting for St. Nick
Each year you raced downstairs
Your favorites you would pick.

Where did all those years go?
The time does quickly fly
We just can't stop its passing
No matter how hard we try.

Now you want your stocking
To hang in your new home
I guess I'll have to let it go
Now that you are grown.

But I just can't help thinking
How strange it is going to be
To look at this year's mantle
And see the stockings - only three.

First Thanksgiving as a MIL

This was my first Thanksgiving as an official mother-in-law. Andy and Megan flew in from D.C., Katie's friend Ji came here from Mizzou, and my in-laws drove down from Iowa for the long weekend. Rounding our our table on Thanksgiving Day was my friend and writing teacher, Bobbi Linkemer. We had a fantastic day! However, it is one thing to cook the meal on Thanksgiving, and a whole other thing altogether to plan three meals a day for four days, for eight people with differing medical conditions, tastes and allergies. That is when you feel like you live in the kitchen, with food preparation, cooking and cleaning up seeming to take up most of each day. We did grab pizza for lunch one day while we were out, and we took everyone out for dinner Saturday night, so that helped. My in-laws had not yet met Megan as they were unable to attend the wedding. It was wonderful for them to finally meet the lovely young woman who captured my son's heart. I was thinking that this is the first Thanksgiving that Megan has not spent with her family. I wonder how strange that was for her, as well as for her parents. Which got me thinking that this will be the first Christmas in which Andy will not be celebrating with us, at least not on Christmas Eve or Day. That made me a little sad. Then Andy asked if he could have his Christmas stocking, which I made for him when he was born. He wants to hang it up at the Englert's house. And I realized that now we will only have three stockings hanging on our fireplace. That made me cry a little.

The Thank You Notes

I think Andy and Megan are finally writing out their thank you cards. At least I assume so as they asked me for the wedding invitation list I had supplied them with again. I guess current etiquette holds that you need to send them out within six months of the wedding, so they are still well within that time frame. That seems a little excessive to me, especially if there are mix-ups with the gifts like they had. One gift had no card on it so they don't know who it was from. And for those unable to attend the wedding, until a card comes they have no way of knowing if the bride and groom even received the gift at all. But I am happy they are at least sending the notes as we have been to numerous weddings where no cards were sent out. That is just downright rude!

The Signature Quilt

Andy and Megan's quilt is now finished. Utilizing the 73 quilt squares which were signed by wedding guests (including a few from relatives unable to make the drive to the wedding), I came up with a design I liked for the quilt. The only problem was that I was 10 squares short of making it look right. So I scanned in the wedding invitation, which was hand made by Megan, and nine of their wedding photos to fill in the gaps. Megan gave me ideas for the colors she would like, and I took it from there. I'm hoping they will enjoy looking at the quilt and reading the well wishes for years to come. It sounds like they will be driving here for Thanksgiving, so that will be a good time to present it to them. I could mail it, but I would much rather see their reactions when they look at it for the first time.

Play It Again, Sam

In the mail yesterday I received the dvd of the wedding. Cheryl and I had decided that we would split the cost of a videographer for the wedding. The kids didn't want to incur the cost, but we thought that rather than ask some relatives to videotape the wedding events, having someone else do it would ensure a better end result. Plus then our relatives could enjoy the day instead of viewing everything through the lens of a camera. It was really fun to watch the video some three months after the wedding. When Jim and I got married 30 years ago, videotaping wasn't even an option. In hindsight, I wish we would have at least had the ceremony audiotaped. When you are in the excitement of the moment, it is hard to recall what was done and said after the fact. I would love to be able to hear us celebrating our vows, and to listen to the music sung so beautifully by two friends of ours. So I'm glad we have the dvd of Andy's wedding to share with those who were unable to make the trip to Indiana, and I know that Andy and Megan will treasure being able to replay one of life's biggest moments.

Let the Holiday Games Begin

When we got married, my mother-in-law called first Christmas with us. Thus began our tradition of traveling to my parents that year for Thanksgiving and my in-laws for Christmas. We switched off the next year. Now that both of my parents are gone, we celebrate Thanksgiving here each year and every other Christmas we travel to Charles City. This is a travel year for us, so when Andy brought up what was going to happen at Christmastime, I knew there was no way they could get from Maryland to Indiana to see Megan's family and also to Iowa. So I told him we understood if they just wanted to go to Indiana. As it turns out, Andy's 5 year high school class reunion is on December 27th, and so they are considering coming from Indiana to attend that. We can arrange to be back from Iowa by then. I'm not going to get hung up on celebrating only on the actual day. When you are juggling an additional family, everyone needs to be flexible. The kids certainly don't need the stress of us insisting that they spend either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with us. I've listened to too many friends over the years talking about rushing from one family holiday gathering to another, and not really enjoying any of them. The kids are thinking about driving back for Thanksgiving, and they may try to visit both St. Louis and Huntingburg on that trip. But that is their call, not ours. We will take them however we can get them.

Keeping Myself in Stitches

The wedding quilt was coming along nicely. Really, it was. The top was done, the two borders were on, and the piece I embroidered in the top border with their names and wedding date stitched out great. I quilted the front to the back, and was quilting the last border when the trouble began. The two long sides looked perfect, but the top and bottom of the last border appeared wavy. My husband suggested leaving them alone. What does he know? So I ripped the bottom stitches out and tried again. Murphy decided to pay me a visit at that point. I'm sure he had something to say about sewing - he probably came up with a stitch in time saves nine, or some such thing. Anyway, I have ripped it out a second time but haven't had the courage to try sewing it again. I find when I get angry with my sewing (or any project for that matter), it is best to set it to the side for a while. I am so close to having the quilt complete, it really stinks that this had to happen. I know, someday I'll look back on this and think it is funny...

Quilting Memories

This week I began the wedding quilt for Megan and Andy. At their wedding reception in June, I had asked anyone who wanted to participate to write out a well wish to the kids on squares of fabric I had prepared. Some people had chosen to mail them to me, and I think the last of the stragglers are in. There are 73 hand written squares, but in order for the dimensions to work I will need 83 squares total. I decided to use photographs from the wedding for the remaining 10 squares. Based upon color input from Megan, I selected 6 different fabrics to make diagonal rows, an additional fabric for filling in the triangles around the outside, and an 8th fabric for a border. Once I get to that point, I may decide on an additional border. I also want to embroider their names and the wedding date on the top of the quilt, so I'll need to decide how I want that to look. It has been going together fairly quickly so far, so I hope my good luck holds out. I don't have a timetable for completing it, but since I know I have to make two quilts for high school graduation by next spring, I would like to get this one completed so it doesn't get in the way of the other two. I don't know if we will see the kids before Christmas, but I want to have it done just in case.

Fiddler on the Roof

Last night my daughter and I went to see "Fiddler on the Roof" at the Muny Theater, which is the largest outdoor theater in the United States and in its 90th year of bringing great musicals to St. Louis. The recurring theme about marrying off children seemed particularly apropos in light of my son's wedding this summer. What parent cannot relate to "Sunrise, Sunset" as we wonder how our babies have become young men and women while we haven't aged at all! In keeping with mood of the evening, we saw a wedding party being photographed in front of the lakes and fountains at the base of Art Hill in Forest Park. Weather in the mid 70's made for a memorable evening for both theater attendees and wedding guests alike.

Phone Home

It has been twelve days (not that I'm counting!) since Andy was here on a business trip. I have not heard one word from him, and he did not answer a call I placed to him. The main thing I have noticed about going from mother to mother-in-law is the lack of phone calls. He used to call me once a week to fill me in on what has been going on in his life, and to inquire about ours. I miss our conversations...

The Presence of the Presents

We are still trying to resolve a wedding present dilemma. I was with my brother, Joe, when he picked up a few of the bath items that Andy and Megan had on their wish list. In addition to the soap dispenser, toothbrush holder and cup, he had the matching rug in his cart. I know, because we dug through all the rugs to find one with no flaws in it. As there was nothing else large on their list at this particular store, he decided he would just give them cash in addition to the few things he purchased. So imagine my surprise the day after the wedding when Megan opened the gift from Joe and there was no rug in the package. The card attached was from Joe and contained the cash, and a matching wrapped present with no card contained a griddle-which I knew he had not purchased. To add to the mystery, a different gift with a card from someone else contained the rug. Hmmmm.... As my brother at this time was already on his way to the airport to fly back to Colorado, we could not ask him about it. It was my job to talk to Joe about it, and I finally called him yesterday. By this time he has no recollection about if he had one wrapped present or two for them. He does know that he did not get them the griddle, though. The giver of the griddle remains a mystery.

Meet the In-laws

On Saturday my sister and I drove to Cincinnati for a Crusham family reunion. On the way over we stopped in Huntingburg to see Megan's mom and dad, and to pick up a small box of items left from the wedding. It was really nice to be able to just visit them without the stress of a wedding hanging over our heads. It is wonderful that we have so much in common, and that we can enjoy being with them without the kids being around. Cheryl is going to try to round up her group of high school friends and come over to St. Louis for a girl's weekend. That would be great, as I really had fun meeting them at the shower and the wedding. I told them I should have gone dress shopping with them as it would have been much more fun than going by myself.

Ring Saga Continues

So Andy picked up the ring Friday afternoon. John was not in the shop, so Andy didn't get a chance to talk with him. The ring is much better than before, but it is not perfect. The side view looks very good, and the horseshoe shaped area of diamonds is no longer concealed. But there is still a gap near the top where the wedding band meets the engagement ring. And there is a fairly deep gouge in the back of the ring, which would bug me. But I told Andy that people are not going to take Megan's ring off her hand and look at it up close like we were doing. As a custom, hand made ring, it will never look perfect since it was not make in a mold. He decided he will see how Megan feels about it, and if she is not happy he is going to take it to a jeweler in the DC area and have it redone.

The Ring

Andy has been in town this week on business. He was supposed to arrive late Sunday night and we were going to meet him at his hotel to get the ring and the wedding proofs from him. As his luck with American Airlines goes, his flight was canceled and it was the last one leaving Reagan Airport that night. So he didn't arrive in St. Louis until Monday around 11 in the morning and had to head straight to meetings. Jim and I met up with him Monday night and got the items from him. What that meant, then, is that someone had to take Megan's ring to the jewelers on Tuesday when he opened at 10. I had to get Katie out to a photo shoot at a horse farm in Wentzville by 8 Tuesday morning, so there was no way I could take care of the ring. Awwwww... Fortunately Jim's schedule was such that he was able to take it in. John again said he used the wrong technique on the wedding band and got a poor result. Jim reminded him that the ring needs to be completed by today so Andy can take it home with him tomorrow morning. John, of course, went into all of his excuses about why that wouldn't be possible, but Jim held firm with him. It will be interesting to see if he meets this timetable when he didn't meet any of the others.

Wedding Pictures

I just learned from Megan's mom that the wedding photographer is actually going to post photographs from Andy and Megan's wedding on her website. This is not something she has typically done, so I am ecstatic about it. I think Andy is bringing the actual proofs here with him when he comes for business on July 13th, so it will be great for us to see the real deal. But in terms of the rest of our family, the website will be the only way they will have a chance to see the pictures. Plus they can then order directly from the photographer and keep me out of the loop. Even better!

Rehearsal Dinner Giveaways

I forgot to post about the seed packets I came up with as a little giveaway for each of the attendees at the rehearsal dinner. Here is a picture of the front and back of the packet. They seemed to be well received by the guests.

Missed Photo Op

I've been patiently waiting for word on the wedding proofs. I understand from Megan's mom that photographer may have them ready this week. Not that it will do me any good. Megan's mom will pick them up and take them out to Maryland when they go to visit the kids on July 9th. It could be Christmas before we see them. Now, can you imagine in this day and age being a professional photographer and NOT posting proofs on the web? Well, apparently the technology revolution hasn't made it to Jasper, Indiana. How in the world does she sell any photos, which is the bread and butter of her business? Our family is spread out all over, and I know they would love to see the photos (and maybe buy some!) I may need to badger the photographer to see if she will at least send me a cd of the proofs. As paying her fee was part of our contribution to the wedding, you'd think that would be the least she could do.

Wedding Pictures

Here are a few pictures from the day of the wedding.

It's the Ring Thing Again!

Just when I thought it was safe to say that I would not have to deal with Megan's ring anymore, guess what? Yep, I get to go see John the jeweler again. Lucky me! Andy will be bringing the ring to St. Louis when he comes for business in July. The problem is, he will be at the job site from 6:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. every day. That schedule makes it impossible to get to the store during the day. So I guess I'll meet up with Andy at the job site on that Monday, pick up the ring and take it to John. Then Andy wants to go to John's on Thursday to look at it in case any other changes need to be made before he picks it up on Friday. How he is going to get there on Thursday, I have no idea since he won't have a car. Or maybe I do have an idea - mom?

From MOG to MIL

I guess this blog will wind down as I am no longer a MOG but instead have become a MIL - mother-in-law. That is a somewhat scary thought as there are so many stories and jokes (all negative) about mother-in-laws. I have had a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law for the past thirty years, and my husband was close to my mom until the day she died. I hope that I can follow in the footsteps of these two fantastic women, and that one day Megan will be proud to call me "mom."

Funny Story

Andy and Megan flew out of St. Louis for their honeymoon. Jim and I decided to put them up at a hotel near the airport since a) they had an early flight and b) we still had Jim's sisters here in the guest bedrooms and I didn't want the kids to have to sleep on separate couches the day after their wedding. When we took them to the hotel, I had to go in and sign for the credit card. The lady behind the counter was going on about it being their honeymoon and how she was going to upgrade their room, and the people in line behind us were looking at me funny. Like, what the heck was I doing at the hotel with the newlyweds? Especially since the original room was with two queen beds, not one king. I felt the need to explain that I was only paying the bill and then I was leaving - really. The check-in lady said "Mom, it's time to let go now!" Everyone started laughing!

Ongoing Ring Saga

My son was not happy with the way Megan's ring turned out. I had noticed a couple of things that bothered me, but I am fairly picky so I thought I should let him decide if the work that was done was acceptable. First of all, the ring was too tight on me, and the engagement ring had fit me perfectly. I pointed that out to the jeweler when I picked it up, and he said he had compensated for the extra bands going around the engagement ring by upping the size. I was skeptical, but thought maybe my hands were swollen from the heat. Other than the size issue, the bands surrounding the engagement ring did not match in size - width or height. Plus the soldering wasn't exact. My boy is too much like me, and found the ring unacceptable. He asked if I would make an appointment for them to see the jeweler on Saturday as they flew in and out of St. Louis for their honeymoon. I told him I would make an apppointment, but nothing else. I am soooooo done with this ring thing. They met with him and got the ring sized, and Andy will bring the ring back with him when he comes here for a business trip in July so that some other modifications can be made. Andy said John seemed to indicate that he knew the ring wasn't his best work. It is beautiful, no doubt, but it is not perfect. And when it is the one and only ring you intend to give to a bride, only perfection will do.

Wedding Quilt

Nearly 70 people at the wedding reception completed a quilt square by expressing their wishes in permanent marker on the fabric squares I had prepared. Most of them were very thoughtful, a few brought tears to my eyes, and only one was of a questionable nature. Several went outside the lines I had drawn, so I'll have to decide how to work around those so I don't lose part of the sentiment in the seams. When Megan and Andy get back here from their honeymoon, I'll take a few minutes with them to determine what color fabrics they would like me to use in completing the quilt. I'm not making any promises on when the quilt will be finished. They may get it as an anniversary gift!

The Big Day is Over!

After months of preparation, the wedding is over and everything was perfect. The rehearsal went well on the 6th, and the rehearsal dinner was excellent. I showed the slide presentation I had put together, and it was a hit. I think at first Andy and Megan were concerned about which photos I might have included, but I had nothing embarrassing in there. The memento seed packets also seemed to be well received. The day of the wedding was windy and hot, but all around us in Indiana were severe storms. In fact, some guests didn't make it due to flooded roads. We were in the only sunny spot of Indiana on Saturday. I heard this morning that 19 counties in Indiana were called disaster zones. I told Andy and Megan that the good weather in Huntingburg was a sign of good things to come for them. The wedding reception went smoothly and the food was excellent. People seemed to have a really good time, and the slide show played until the bride and groom arrived. After helping Cheryl and Allen pick up the rented decorations and carry leftover food to their van, we finally got to our room around 12:30 AM or so. Sunday we had breakfast with my family, and then met up with Megan's family at their house for the gift opening before heading back to St. Louis. All in all, I would say that the whole event was perfect, and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Got the Rings!

I headed off to the jewelers yesterday fully expecting to pick up the engagement ring and nothing else. Wonder of wonders, he was almost finished with the wedding bands. He asked me to come back at noon, and while they weren't ready at noon I was able to get them about 3. The jeweler was already gone for the day, and I noticed a slight scratch on Megan's ring that I want him to look at. I need to go back on Wednesday so he can give me new appraisals on the two rings, so I'll see if he can buff it out then.

I'm Going to "Ring" His Neck!

The wedding bands are still not ready. After promising me that they would be complete by May 15th, I haven't even been called in to look at the final molds so Megan's band can be poured. Andy tried to call the jeweler Tuesday (out sick) and yesterday (no answer and then busy, busy.) So I marched in there yesterday afternoon. Yep, he's out sick again. I told his gal that I am coming in on Saturday to pick up the completed rings. If they are not ready, I'm taking the engagement ring back and the kids will do whatever they have to do (buy cheap bands) to get through the wedding, and then after the wedding they will take Megan's ring to a jeweler out by them to get what they want. John can shove his ten hours worth of work in the molds where the sun don't shine, as far as I'm concerned. I told her that never have I been treated so shabbily by anyone, and that if I ran my business like he runs his, there would be no business to run. I reminded her that I live in this community, and if these rings aren't done to my satisfaction I'll tell everyone and their brother not to shop there. We'll see how far this gets us.

The Show Must Go On!

Over 220 photos have been scanned and edited by me, and then placed into a new software program I purchased for the rehearsal dinner slide show. Text has been added as well as some zoom features, and the music has been coordinated with the slides. Overall, I'm pleased with the end result. Then I went to copy this show to my laptop, which will be connected to a projector for better viewing. That's when it began to hit the fan. When I open up the show on the laptop, only 9 slides appear. Those are the transition slides, which are text but no photos. Obviously the program isn't finding the photos. Two calls to tech support had me saving the show in a different format, and voila the show now opens on the laptop. New problem - I cannot burn it onto a DVD with it in the new format. My main computer has no DVD burner on it, so I can't burn it from there. This is when computers become very frustrating for me. Why does it always have to be so difficult? It really takes all the fun out of the process. New call into my local computer guru who usually can save me from myself.

RE: Undergarments

My dress is a pale pink, leaning towards mauve. It is a nearly full length, lined sheath with an embroidered panel near the bottom on the front and has a matching embroidered jacket. The problem is that even with the lining you can see my underwear through the dress. I know in this day of wearing underwear as outerwear, or dresses with no underwear for that matter, some don't think seeing my bra and panties is a problem. But it is to me. So I have been looking for an answer. A half slip is okay if I don't take off the jacket. As the wedding is in June, and I have my own internal furnace blasts, I don't want to gamble that the jacket won't come off at some point. A camisole with a half slip leaves a line in the middle which can be seen through the dress. The local stores no longer carry a full slip that is also full length. My neighbor last night suggested I try Spanx, the slimming cover-alls which come in different lengths. This weekend I will head to Nordstrom's with dress in hand to see if that is the way to go.

Industrial Strength Make-up

Yesterday I went in search of industrial strength make-up for the wedding. As I am prone to tears simply by looking for a mother-son dance song, I know what is going to happen the day of the wedding. Niagra Falls... So I took my 16 year old daughter with me to a store she frequents so she could provide input, and promptly asked for the make-up artist who has experience with older women. My gal ultimately helped me select a bronzer for some color (darn Irish heritage!), some water-proof eyeliner and mascara, and appropriate eye shadow. Judging my existing lipstick to be the right shade for my eye shadow as well as my dress, I was good to go. Too bad she won't be there to put it on for me! I'll be practicing until then.

The Quilt Squares

This week I finished cutting out about 200 four and three-fourths inch squares for the quilt. Then I cut out 150 four and three-fourths inch sheets of freezer paper (I'm waiting on the reception RSVP number to determine exactly how many squares I need.) Now I am marking the pattern on the freezer sheets so that people know where to write their well-wishes. After that is complete, I need to iron the freezer sheets onto the backs of each of the squares of fabric. The freezer paper stabilizes the fabric for writing. It is easily removed prior to sewing. What a large undertaking this has turned out to be! Good thing I have three more weeks to go before the wedding.

Ringless in Webster Groves

The infamous rings are supposed to be ready for me to pick up tomorrow. I stopped by today just to see how things are coming. Guess what? He hasn't touched them! He told me to come back on Friday, although he doubts he will have anything ready to show me. Huh??? I swear I just want to shake the man. He will certainly never get any business from my family in the future, and we have been good customers of his.

Powerless in Webster Groves

Sunday morning's storm here left us without power for 33 hours. I took advantage of this time (at least when I had enough natural light) to begin cutting out the squares for the wedding signature quilt. My goal is to have around 200 four and three quarter inch squares to bring to the reception. After they are all cut, I need to iron freezer paper onto the backs of each one and then mark each with seam lines so no one writes where I'll be stitching. Hopefully I have left myself enough time to accomplish all of this. I may need to call my friends over for a "square" dance to help me finish them!

Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

After seeing the pretty paper available at the local supply store, I decided to make my own invitations to the rehearsal dinner. I only needed a small quantity, so it made sense to personalize them myself. Here is the final design, which went out to everyone today.

Please join us on June 6^th for a Rehearsal

Dinner in honor of Megan & Andy

Practice makes perfect

Is what they always say

So the night before

The big wedding day

We’ll meet at 6:00 p.m.

To do a run through

Then it’s off to the Schnitzelbank

For good times, food & brew.

I included an engagement photo of them on the card, and the RSVP information at the bottom. On the back of the card, I put the addresses and directions to both the church and the restaurant.

The Birds and the Bees

We have a bird nest in one of our new shrubs in the backyard. I wondered why this robin was scolding me every time I walked from the house to the car. Now I see she was protecting her two babies. How alike all mothers are! Does she know that all too soon her babies will leave the nest?

Rehearsal Dinner

So, I'm pondering the rehearsal dinner invitations. Do I purchase fill-in-the-blank invites? Order personalized ones on-line? Or should I just make my own? I only need 20, so making my own is not out of the question. I think I'll head to a copy shop and see what paper/envelope selections are available before making my decision.

Quilting Memories

When an employee of my husband's got married, they had all the guests express their sentiments on a small card, and place it in a vase. When I asked Bonnie what she had done with all the cards, she said they were in a box. Perhaps, unread, I thought to myself. That seemed sad somehow, all those well wishes locked away like old photographs. For Megan and Andy's reception I am going to provide squares of fabric, and ask the guests to sign them. From the squares I will make a quilt to give to my son and daughter-in-law. I hope that when they are sad, which we all are at times, or when things get hard, which life certainly will, they can wrap themselves in the comfort of this quilt and remember the vows spoken "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..." And that as they re-read all of squares of support, they recognize the fabric of love that surrounds them.

Mothers of Little Boys

Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down.
~ source unknown

A Song For My Son

I have been searching for the perfect song for the mother-son dance. Unfortunately, I haven't found one that expresses exactly what I am feeling. At times like this, I wish I could write a poem that would speak from my heart, or compose a song that would tell him what he means to me. I have been doing a lot of reflection on being "mom" to this wonderful young man (and how in the world someone as young as me could possibly have a 23 year old child who is getting married!) I remember when I first found out I was pregnant, and how I knew I would have to keep it a secret because my husband was in Saudi Arabia at the time. When I learned I was having a boy, I felt immense relief that I was providing the Wolterman family tree with a boy to carry on the name. The pressure was off! And when Andy was born, I knew that nothing else I would ever do would compare to holding that baby for the first time. We were his life for the first five years, and when he began kindergarten I understood that the little boy I dropped off that first day would be no more. Teachers and peers would influence his thoughts and behaviors, and his world would expand in ways I could only imagine. I felt the same way when he went away to college. Part of our family fabric began to unravel then, as internships took him far away from us during the summers. At the same time, his experiences brought a new dimension to our relationship as he sought our advice on projects, friendships and work situations. Following college graduation, I drove the U-haul to Maryland to help set up his apartment for his new job. As I got ready to fly back home, I sat down to write him a letter to tell him how proud I was of all he has accomplished. The tears began to flow until I couldn't even see the paper. At that point I realized that our family as I knew it was forever changed. Just as when he went off to kindergarten and college, his life would now be centered around people and things I know nothing about. Our family of four had become three. As I contemplate his marriage, I understand that our family dynamics are changing again. No longer will he turn to his mom for advice as there is another woman for him to turn to. My place in his life has shifted. So while I am thrilled that he has found Megan to share his life with, I hope he will understand that a part of me is a bit sad for I can still see my little boy in the man. And then it occurred to me, we have not become a family of three but instead will become a family of five. Our family is like a quilt, where new pieces will be added to make it stronger, larger and more beautiful. Now if I could just put all this to music...

Megan Gets Showered with Gifts

Megan's bridal shower was this weekend in Indiana. My sister, niece and great-niece road over with me. We arrived early enough to help decorate the hotel meeting room, which had been reserved for the party. It was a little awkward at first as there were only four of us from the groom's family in attendance, and around thirty people from the bride's side. Most of Megan's family lives in the area, while mine is spread out in Iowa, Colorado and Texas. But our mutual love of the bride-to-be was just the first of many things we found to have in common with our new "relatives." The name tags I had made were great for breaking the ice and starting discussions, and the "towel cake" was a big hit. In fact, Megan decided to keep it in one piece and use it at the wedding as well. Andy and Megan received many lovely gifts, which surprisingly were all packed into their car for the long drive back to Maryland today. Following the shower, we went to the Englert's for a barbeque, where we were able to hammer out a few remaining pesky details for the wedding. (Such as what time the rehearsal is starting, so I can mail out invitations to the rehearsal dinner.) Now I can proceed with my list of things to for the rehearsal dinner. I have had the restaurant reserved since last year, and I have the favors purchased for the attendees. I am putting together a powerpoint presentation of photos of Andy and Megan from birth through engagement, which I will combine with music and then burn onto a dvd.

"Ring" Around the Rosie

I have found myself in the middle of the wedding band debacle. It has been "ring" around the rosie, and I don't even have a pocket full of posies to show for it. Since the jeweler is here in Webster Groves and the happy couple is out in Maryland, I have become the "go to" gal for the rings. I brought Megan's engagement ring back from Maryland with me when we visited them at Easter so that the jeweler could design the custom band, which will attach to the engagement ring. He is also making my son's wedding band. The goal was to have the molds made, photographed and emailed to my son and upon approval, made into the rings. This process was to be completed in time for me to take the FINISHED rings with me to the shower. Which is tomorrow. Following one excuse after the other, I will now be lucky if I have the molds for Megan's band to take with me. I have spent more time at the jewelers lately than I have with my husband. Sad, but true. The latest and greatest is that I am supposed to call the jeweler at 2 this afternoon to see how he is coming. He closes at 5, and I leave for Indiana at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I know it is not the end of the world that I won't have the actual rings to take with me tomorrow. The wedding is June 7th, so we have time yet. But I really don't like the thought of shipping these rings through the mail. I know what Murphy would have to say about that. I'm just aggravated with the fact that the jeweler essentially lied to my face about what he could actually accomplish in the time frame established, and the fact that he could have made the goal if he hadn't put other jobs ahead of this one. This is particularly grating considering the fact that my son brought his business to this jeweler due to the fact that my husband purchased a lovely ring there for our 25th anniversary. Bottom line: we have spent a substantial amount of money in this store. I now don't have the confidence that I will even get the finished rings until June 5th, which I'm sure is the new deadline he has given himself. I'll just have to be all over him like a rash. Maybe he'll finish them up just to get rid of me! Before it's ashes, ashes we all fall down.

Love Knows No Age Limit

I was at the jewelers yesterday prodding John to get going on the wedding bands for my son and his fiance. He was busy with a couple purchasing a ring, so I sat on the bench in the store to wait for him. The couple had to be in their late 70's to early 80's, and they were picking out wedding rings. I had a view of their faces in the mirror behind John's jewelry display case, and they were just as cute as can be. I listened as they discussed the pros and cons of this type of stone over that type of stone. The final ring choice needed to be sized, so John asked them for a phone number so he could contact them when the ring was ready to be picked up. The man coyly suggested that they better use her number as his wouldn't be active too much longer. John asked him if he was moving, and he said that he was moving in with this young lady (putting an arm around his fiance) soon. I reflected on my 23 year old getting married with all of life's unexpected twists and curves ahead of him, and contrasted it with all the roads this couple had probably traveled in their lives and where the journey had finally landed them.I watched them leave the store and cross Lockwood holding hands, and as he held open the car door for her to get in, it occurred to me that love knows no age limit.

Shower Towel Cake

This weekend I created the towel cake I had volunteered to bring to Megan's shower next weekend. I found some great instructions on the web, and easily created the "cake." Harder for me is coming up with the inspiration to create something new on my own. I went to Hobby Lobby and picked up some items from the bridal department, as well as some ribbon and flowers to match the wedding colors. Here is the finished product, and I don't think it looks too bad for a first attempt. Now I just have to get it to Indiana without falling apart!

About Fathers of the Groom

Apparently the bride, her family and the groom himself were not aware that the father of the groom wears a tuxedo at the wedding. I only know this because I was speaking to the bride's father, and he mentioned that he and his two sons have all been measured for their tuxes. We hadn't even been told what store to go to for a fitting. As it turns out, they didn't know my husband was going to wear a tux. Hmmmmm..... A call to my son confirmed this, so we await his email with the information regarding the tux selection. All of this makes me aware of the fact that while the groom's mother may be told to wear beige and keep her mouth shut, at least she knows that much. The groom's father is told nothing. There, I feel better about my position already!

The Shower

Megan's wedding shower is in a couple of weeks in her hometown of Huntingburg, IN. I have offered to be of assistance in any way that I can considering I am 3.5 hours away. My idea was to have some small memento for the shower guests (est. to be around 65) to take home with them. On eBay I found the idea of customizing tea bags with the bride's name, date of the shower, artwork and "Love is Brewing". I have them in hand now, and they are a fun giveaway, I think. The same lady customized wild flower seed packs for me, which I plan to give out at the rehearsal dinner. But, back to the shower... I am making name tags which list the bride's name and the date of the shower, and then says "Hello my name is (blank)" followed by "and I am Megan's (blank)" to help everyone know what the relationship to the bride is. I am also doing a few for the groom's side, as sadly there will only be four from our side of the family able to attend. Most of our family lives 10 or more hours away. At any rate, I thought these name tags would be an ice breaker as people are getting to know each other. I also was able to put their engagement photo on the name tag, which is a nice touch. One other thing I will be doing is making a towel cake as the centerpiece for the head table, and Megan can take that home with her after the shower.

Mothers of the Groom Unite!

My son is getting married in June, thus I am a MOG (mother of the groom.) Only a mother understands the emotions shifting through your head when it sinks in that your baby is truly no more, and in fact may soon start a family of his own. As soon as Andy proposed to Megan, I did what I normally do when faced with a scenario I know nothing about. I searched the web for information helpful to MOGs. I didn't find very much - mostly the wear beige and keep your mouth shut advice. I am hopeful that this blog will encourage other MOGs to share their experiences, wisdom and advice as I get ready to let go of the hand of my boy (now man) and watch as he joins it with the hand of the woman he has pledged his love to.